I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
