he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
