I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
