Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize