Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
did i just pee glitter
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