if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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