It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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