I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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