I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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