Yo dont text me then not text me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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