yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize