Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
