do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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