I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
