i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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