his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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