you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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