this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize