would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
