did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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