Me. At least after what I've been through.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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