Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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