I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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