.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
