honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
