i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
