Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
