so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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