Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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