When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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