Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
