Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
