She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
