I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
