My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize