I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
