my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
