Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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