I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
