Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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