You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize