who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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