i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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