weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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