as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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