i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
