You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
