that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
