well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize