I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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