I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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