took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
