NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
