I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
