Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
