So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
