You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
