Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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