You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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