OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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