Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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