i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
pray to the hookup gods
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize