Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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