I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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