Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
