One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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