dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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