I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize