I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
