Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
