grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
they need to just BURY HIM!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The ass gains better be worth it
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