Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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